So don’t…
The way your mouth forms those mean words so easily kills me. You drive out to see me and then I become so invisible to you, because you don’t have to try for me. I am yours when you want me. Those two weeks will kill me because I’ll see that smile and that look when you want someone, only it won’t be. I meant those things I said while laying there with only the moonlight lighting our skin. You try to pretend that this isn’t what you want, but your fingertips are always touching me, and I can see the outline of your smile that you’re trying to hide when the lights are off. There isn’t enough feeling in the world to express my infatuation for you, only this has gone on for years. This is no longer infatuation, this is love. But I don’t want to be with you, I watch how you treat girls and that isn’t what I want or what I deserve. I watch you parade these girls in front of me, and I’m there when you get hurt. I get your drunken texts saying you miss me, but if you really did would you have to be drunk to tell me, your tough exterior and pretend badass attitude have never fooled me. Ever since you and I started, you wanted more than this. But you’re too cowardice to try hard. These girls aren’t going to fall at your feet and do everything you say because they see it turning into a pattern from the beginning. Silly boy, you made a mistake that night you cried on my shoulder. You showed me that you’re better than the girls you’re settling for and you’re only going after them because you’re afraid to be alone. Unfortunately, you’ve lost your chance with me, and I am the one that knows all if your secrets. You are only friends with me because I won’t sleep with you, but if I did sleep with you, you would have no respect for me. I have to pretend I don’t care about you in order to get you to care about me. So now the question is, when will you realize that everything that you’ve wanted in a person is no longer the person that wants you?
