The things I omitted
That letter to you backfired on me. The things you wrote back hurt, but I didn’t want them to. It turns out I have more feelings for you than I thought I did. I asked a friend about the email, and what they thought, and they responded with this:
“he hates that he loves you”
And it’s true, isn’t it? When I brought it up in that letter, you did everything you could to avoid answering that question. You didn’t say you did, and you didn’t say you didn’t. You just went on past it. The fact that I am now forbidden to contact you until you feel it’s okay to talk to me pretty much kills me, and makes me want to talk to you more, and knowing you, that’s exactly what you wanted. I found a picture you sent to me when you and I were… you and I. And it literally stopped my heart. But this doesn’t matter to you. None of this does, and once this is all over with, if you and I ever talk again, I don’t think any of this will. I can’t believe I fell for you the way I did under these circumstances. I can’t believe I let you fall for me so hard. I should’ve pushed you away from the beginning, it’s not like there was going to be anyone in the situation that wasn’t going to get hurt.
Fuck you. I love you still, I can’t believe it.
