So, where do I begin?
I’m vulnerable, really really vulnerable. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, especially lately. The truth is, although you make me happy, I can’t be happy with you. And I used to think that there wasn’t a difference, but there really is. It’s not that I don’t love you, matter of fact it’s my love for you that has kept us together for this long. I feel like if I love you, I should try harder to be more patient and supportive. But it can only go so far. In all of my reading, thinking, writing, and conversations… they all lead to something that seems so inevitable. Separation. And if you and I get separated, you’re going to realize a few things. 1. I am not worth your time. 2. You need to make yourself happy before you can try to make anyone else happy. This one is going to take a while for you to realize, and I don’t know if you’re going to pay attention to it as much as you should’ve. You’re young, hell… I’m young. But since I am your first really long relationship, you may actually question what happened once this is over. I’m really hoping you will, and not just put all the blame on me, because it’s not all me. Although, I will be the first to admit that I’ve done plenty wrong in this relationship. I’m being held back, and being held down, and not as happy as I could be. How I wish this was sent to you, and not some place on the internet. Part of me hopes that this will be my own version of a Post Secret, but you will see this, relate this to you, and change before you and I are no longer. But, most likely, you will read this, and not even think of yourself. I think that’s the biggest issue right now. You’re so quick to put yourself down, but you’re so unwilling to do *actual* self reflection in order to change to keep your relationship. I’m not trying to change you, not at all. This isn’t a change because once upon a time, you used to be happy, and lighthearted. You’ve become so jaded about the world, and you’re dragging me down with you. This time though, I’m not going to let you. This isn’t the first time I’ve felt this way, but the first time, I became depressed with you… but now I refuse. You can’t bring me down this time, and I can’t watch you bring yourself down. Even your mom has talked to me about this, and she is supposed to be supportive of the decisions you make. No one who cares about you wants to see you this way. So, it’s really very simple. Don’t be this way. Fix it, before you lose me.
