I give myself some energy.
There are times when I want to go up on a rooftop and jump. If I survive, then that means that I’m meant to do something else, and if not, then I guess I don’t really have to worry about it. Unfortunately, I’m just not ready to put that much trust in fate. Matter of fact, there is 0% trust in fate’s direction. So why think things like this? Old habits die hard. I used to just want to jump off of a roof, now I’ve convinced myself it’s for a little bit of a cause, like testing fate, and what I should be doing. So, I’m ridiculous and self loathing sometimes. At least there isn’t anything worse I could really do to myself that I haven’t already done.
Hell, I don’t think there’s anything short of getting killed that could be done to me that would affect me nearly as much as someone with the ‘perfect life’. Then again, who determines that someone has such a great life?
